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Dealing with Difficult People

You know the type. The person who always has to be right. The co-worker who constantly takes your good ideas and claims them as her own. The parent who refuses to allow you to grow up, even though you're in your 40's with a family of your own. The "friend" who is always judging you and who never has a nice word to say - about anyone!

Difficult people… we all have at least one in our lives. And if you only have one, consider yourself blessed!

So how do you deal with difficult people without stooping to their level? How do you prevent them from stressing you out to the point where you become seriously ill? How do you permanently un-install all those buttons that the "button-pusher" installed?

First, understand that you needn't take the words/actions of the difficult person personally. They have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Most of the time, difficult people are insecure, lonely and unhappy people who try to bring others into their web of misery. Don't fall prey! Stay above the fray to maintain your sanity and composure.

Here are a few suggestions for dealing with difficult people:

• Breathe deeply and don't react. Just because the bait's out there it doesn't mean you have to bite it. You can easily swim away. Above all, stay calm.

• Difficult people love to get a reaction from others. It fuels their feelings of power. When you fail to react and practice restraint prior to responding, it helps to diffuse a potentially volatile situation.

• Do not allow anyone to steamroll you. Be assertive. Set boundaries. Know when it's time to walk away.

• Do not try to change the other person. You can't. All you can change is your reaction to the other person's behavior. Respond, don't react.

• Sometimes it's best to take a time out. To decompress. To come up for air. To think before you respond. It's okay to do that. Don't think of it as surrendering - think of it as a temporary retreat to consider your next move.

• Know when to walk away from a relationship, a family member, or even a job. You owe it to yourself to take care of you, especially if a relationship has become abusive.

Unless you're a hermit or an extreme loner, you will always have at least one difficult person in your life. When they fail to get the reaction they are seeking from you, they will move on to their next victim. Oh… and make sure that you're cultivating plenty of healthy and mutually respectful and beneficial relationships in your life – the kind that really matter!